Do you know David Cutler?

David Cutler and I are survivors of the same Intermediate school: I went to his bar mitzvah, and at lunchtime we hung out in the Student Store. David played a LOT of piano back then and accompanied my eighth-grade talent-show act, "A Sucker Born Every Minute" (from Barnum). He even improvised some jazzy chords behind my patter. Good stuff.

Last night he was quick to note the more-than-20 years since last we spoke. He thought my e-mail came from another woman who shares my name, with whom he worked in another state. As such, his surprise upon seeing MY name was total. He was likewise astonished that my son is closer to our age back then than we are now.

My surprise was in his e-mail last night when he asked if I knew of Billy Collins, US Poet Laureate 2001-2003. "Not only am I versed in his poetry," I wrote back, "but I have MET Billy Collins, at a pre-reading party at Alan Soldofsky's house in San Jose, CA. I was wearing my most vivid turquoise cowboy boots that night, about which Mr. Collins complimented, 'Nice kicks.'" Anyway, David just composed music for some of Collins's poetry.

David Cutler is the BIG TIME, and proved it immediately. "A musical. Big project," he said. Smart, that one. It took me a year to see it. He travels all over, plus he's up for tenure at the university where he's taught for six years. Not much time, that one, but a little.

"Frankly," I told him as we spoke an hour ago, "I'd be happy just to hear if you think it's funny." And he seemed pretty open to that. The fact that I've been noodling on this for two years should let him know that this is not necessarily a "fast-track" project. I told him the backing, musically, I'm considering for the piece. He told me the backing, financially, I should secure for this creative stage, thereby lending prestige to the project. Living in Western Mass, in the Five Colleges Area, with the Berkshires and Tanglewood the next county over, I believe that it is possible to go to Broadway with this.

I believe that "Liz" (that's my blog-o-riffic working title, never you mind) will hit Broadway and smash it a new one.

But first I need to get the backing to bring in David Cutler. A big fat grant. And maybe a tip jar. And DEFINITELY a meeting with Ben Zander.

David Cutler, Liz, Billy Collins, Benjamin Zander, me

Emboldened by my Recent Success

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin was met so favorably, and I'm still riding so high from it, that not only will I submit it to Berkshire Fringe, but I just e-mailed David Cutler and asked if he'd be interested in scoring my musical. 'Cause you gotta grab the bull by the horns while the iron is hot, baby!

David Cutler, Lindsay Lohan's Birkin, oh please oh please

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin Debuts!

We opened the show and we kicked some butt. The girls were great, they missed half a page of dialogue but they otherwise were so good that nobody noticed. During the talkback (they'd already left by that time), I mentioned how wonderful the actresses had been and the room burst into spontaneous applause. People laughed and it was so much fun. We came home with two friends and drank pink champagne. What a great night!

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin: e-mail between playwrights

My e-mail inbox parlayed the following exchange to me, in the form of a question from one playwright for Wednesday's reading and the answer from another.
* * * * *
Sarah wrote:
Hello Everyone,

Someone at my work wanted to bring his 9 year old daughter to the reading and I was wondering what age level you all think the plays are at? Obviously, each child is different but I was just wanted to get a general sense.

For my play, I'd place it at a PG13 or so. There is some violence (implied because it's a reading) which might be upsetting. It might be fun for younger child because there is a made up language.

- Sarah

Lynne replied:
I would say at least pg-13 for mine -- they have to be okay with descriptions of sex between lesbians

* * * * *
I love my town. Actually, two of the four plays feature lesbian content. Fifty percent? That's about right for this city.

In deference to full discosure, I responded, "Mine is G-PG, more for the dialogue than anything else.--LBJ."

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin, lesbianism, Smith College

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin: clarification

Just to be clear in the later post (either above this or below this, depending upon whether you read this chronologically or counter-chronologically), the playwright named "Lynne" is not I. Of four of the participants, three are named some derivation of "Lynn." My funny husband suggested we call the evening, "Night of 1,000 Lynns and one Sarah." Heh heh heh.

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin: All we need is rehearsal

This week, Lynn learned that when opting for verisimilitude, one doesn't always know what one is letting one's self in for...

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin has a cast list of two teen girls. That's all. And considering that in my day, you couldn't get a teen girl off the phone, I figured I'd hear from them the moment they read the cast list.

Not so, Sherlock.

I finally drove to their high school, hours before my in-laws arrived from out West. I'd spoken with the administrator that morning, and he'd assured me that scripts could be delivered to the girls in class. Once I arrived, babe in arms, and asked if I could stay for confirmation that the girls had taken possession of said envelopes, he just looked 'em up and called them out of class.

I'd been a bit frantic at the cross-communication, so once I laid eyes on my cast, my shoulders came down from my ears. One girl had forgotten to tell me she was in a show starting Friday, so that helped me understand the underlying issue a bit. And happily, they're both taking classes at the school where I'd reserved rehearsal space, so they 1) know where that is and 2) will both be in class there Monday afternoon.

We're rehearsing Monday evening and Tuesday afternoon. Our show? Wednesday.

Oh, and the other actress just called to say she's touring college campuses, and won't be back for Monday's rehearsal. I gave her some notes over the phone and asked her to think about costuming. I also told her to tell her co-star I expect to see HER Monday night.

I've never directed by proxy, but damned if I'm not getting good at it.

Did I tell you we're FIRST on the program? And yes, there will be a program. I double-checked the actresses' names before sending in the information.

As a theatrical warm-up, DH has to re-read "Endgame" for class Tuesday afternoon, so last night we read it aloud. He was Hamm and Nagg. I was Clov, Nell, and Nagg (whenever there were Hamm and Nagg exchanges.)

It's funny to me, to think that the Hamm/Clov relationship in that play mirrors the James Joyce/Samuel Beckett relationship when Beckett was Joyce's secretary (as the latter wrote _Finnegan's Wake_). Or maytbe it's just about the apocalypse:

Clov: It won't rain.

That's on page four and it says it all, I think.

And, on the bright side, at least we won't be over-rehearsed. And I'm having plenty of time to spend with hubby's folks!

Lindsay Lohan's Birkin, directing, teenagers

Baby Walked November First

He took three side-steps toward me that morning, and seven forward steps that night, trying to get a glass of red wine away from my mother-in-law.

Auditions Today and Rhythmball, too!

I held auditions for "Lindsay Lohan's Birkin" today at the local performing-arts charter high school. Six young ladies auditioned, which was a good number -- I had everyone read twice, mixing up the casts. Nevertheless, the true Heather and Hillary shone through and I believe my decision was sound. Happily, one of the girls who auditioned is in the directorial class, so I'm hoping she'll be interested in helping / taking over director-ship of the play.

The head drama honcho even suggested a theater festival that might be interested in the script. Whoo! I came home and googled it -- turns out the deadline is next week, which couldn't be more fortuitous.

And yes, I'm still finding the time to Rhythmball. I'm cautiously moving on to the advanced sets, having spent these months perfecting the basic sets both right-handed and left-handed. My first "trick" is the 360-degree racket spin while the ball's up in the air. I can do it better left-handed than right, right now. Go figure.

It's hard trying to convince people that they should plunk down their hard-earned cash for an exercise they've never heard of, but I believe our stream of orders is about to turn into a river. You can help by breaking down and clicking here and buying it. Tell you what: If you enter "Rhythmball blog" in the order form's "How did you learn about Rhythmball?" field, I'll throw in an extra ball for free. Very helpful to have two balls when you're first learning -- I swear I spent more time the first day digging under the futon than actually swinging my arm.

But don't be scared; Rhythmball is like snowboarding. The first day is horrible and you despair that you'll never get the hang of it. The second day goes a little better. By day three, you're clickin'.

rhythmball, lindsay lohan's birkin, weight loss

Media Maven Madness

First off, on a personal note: My new play is being staged! It was chosen for the first-ever public reading of the Mytown Playwright's Lab, and will be staged as such on November 8th. It is called "Lindsay Lohan's Birkin" and I'm auditioning actresses and a co-director this week. Can't freaking wait.

In other news, Rhythmball will be featured in Volume 30/Issue 4 of "Activities, Adaptation & Aging." You might also be seeing it in the print home of the Manolo! (be still my heart). And another HUGE newspaper might be covering it, but I can't say the name here for fear of jinxing it.

Finally, we've edited together all the Rhythmball content from "The Amazing Race." If you have a high-speed connection (cable modem/DSL or higher), check it out here.

That is all. But, for a Monday, not bad! Not bad at all!

The Amazing Race, Lindsay Lohan, Hermes Birkin, media goddess

Down three sizes in three months!

It's official -- I am down to a 16/18 from a 22/24 (it was a really tight 22) in three months, WITHOUT DIETING. I'm serious about that "without dieting" part. I'm a new mom. I live for chocolate and am not about to deny myself such a small thing that makes me sooooooo happy.

But on the sizing front, my in-laws just sent me a box of clothes, because they love to shop and are gracious and generous people, and all of the size-18 pants they sent FIT. Even the two pairs of Tommy Hilfiger jeans. And they look great. Darling Husband was ticked off at me the other night, and yet still managed to notice "a little bit" that I look hot in my new jeans.

My energy level is up, my strength level is up, and even our sex life is improving. But more about that in another post, one likely to be entitled, "Too Much Information."

The Amazing Race, no diet, chocolate, improved marital relations