Poem: 1/26/2007

Our coldest night of
three Massachusetts Januaries:
We eat b-b-q chuck and corn on the cob
till the butter grows muddy.

Rhythmball for Rehab

My friend Katherine just had major surgery on her leg and is in a cast the size of Italy. She asked if I thought Rhythmball might be beneficial to her recovery, and my answer is a resounding "yes!" Katherine's a real go-getter, hike till dark then hike some more sort of gal, and I can't imagine her being still. The good news is, while she's still in her cast, she can play Rhythmball while seated. I'd recommend she buy a few extra balls to ease the retrieval process, though. Rhythmball is a great aerobic exercise for people confined to chairs, because it gets your arms moving. Super for circulation -- do you ever see fat orchestra conductors? Of course not! Because flapping your arms is super exercise! But Rhythmball is more fun, plus it has the added "will I keep it on the racket" surprise factor.

So Katherine, yes! Please try Rhythmball and let us know how it helps your recovery!

And scratch Miss Gigi, your darling poodle, who I'm certain is VERY happy to have her mother stuck in one place for large periods of time.

Our Two Cats are Hopeless

We have a mouse. Two cats, and a MOUSE. In the same kitchen where they eat their food. 'nuff said.

P.S. Cats pictured do not belong to us

black cats, unhelpful

Happy New Year!

I am back from California where I visited family and chased the baby around various grandparents' and aunties' houses, thereby ensuring, if not improving upon, the level of fitness I'd achieved via Rhythmball. Never know how handy baby gates are until you spend three weeks without them. Anyway...

We are all sick, including baby, who has not one but TWO sinus infections, which is totally unbelievable because he's the same happy, sunny boy he always is. Katie suggests he might be "stupid," which is completely not true and, frankly, has somewhat ticked me off.

I guess the really bad news, however, is that I have an idea for a new writing project, and it will have to be a screenplay, which is a major bummer because for me, screenplay writing is the most horrific type of writing there is, just flat-out a pain in the rear, and so difficult, and I'm cringing at the thought of it.

My dad bought Darling Husband a "write a novel in a month" box set. Maybe I'll appropriate it and bang through this screenplay in 30 days.

We'll see...

Serving Bessie: It's a Hit!

I read my new one-act, Serving Bessie, at the Mytown Playwright's Lab this evening and it was a big fat hit. Woo hoo! I was a little nervous -- see, I live in this uber-progressively liberal town in Western Massachusetts, and wasn't certain that the Lab members would find humor in a play whose premise is "a vegan and a Jersey cow are trapped together on a desert island" -- but there were chuckles throughout and they loved the ending. They all agreed that it didn't need to be any longer, and they all thought it was plenty funny ("It's one joke," Sarah said, "but it's a really funny joke."). Hooray! Toby said it was a "short little funny arc thing," which cleared my apprehension that the vegan character might be too one-note.

So I just got home and popped the bottle of Gloria Ferrar Brut sparkling wine that I just happened to buy the other night, and it tastes like victory. Hell yeah!

Serving Bessie, Western Massachusetts, artistic freedom

Well, Serving Bessie is Done...

Just finished the first draft. Two pages, solid, funny. At least, Avram kept giggling during our over-the-phone read-through, and then said not to change a thing.

So I'm saying it now: my brand-new one-act, Serving Bessie, is ready for a public reading. Perhaps I'll trot it out in front of the Mytown Playwright's Lab next week. If it plays for them, I'll be happy, 'cause they're a pretty politically correct group and this play? It's sick as hell. As promised. Tee hee hee!

Serving Bessie, seeking representation, sick as hell

New Play's a-Brewin'

I had a great time at a tea party yesterday. It was disclosed fairly early in the afternoon that I write plays, which worked out great, because when one woman said something that made me go, "ooooh!", she gave me permission to write about it before I even had to ask. I had the ending by the time I drove home, and the structure before I went to bed. I allowed Monstro to offer suggestions and listened quietly, then dropped the ending on him a couple of hours later. Can't remember the last time I heard him laugh that hard. So, off to a good start. Now I just have to write the thing -- preferably in time for the next tea party.

Working title? Serving Bessie. Will it be funny? Hell yeah. And totally sick.

playwright, one act, totally sick

Down Another Size!

My tighter size 18 pants are fitting better, but the thing I'm most excited about is I've dropped another panty size! This is great news for me, because I gained so much butt weight when I was pregnant it was difficult to tell whether I was coming or going. Really. And though I'd put away my maternity undies a couple of months ago, I couldn't budge out of my first-trimester bikinis. This morning I was digging through my underwear drawer looking for clean, uh, drawers. The only ones I could find were the black ones that, three weeks ago, cut off all circulation to my lower extremities and made me look like the Michelin man after too many four-star meals. And yet today, they fit, felt great, didn't ride up, and were perfectly comfortable. This is particularly impressive due to the fact that in the past week I've consumed baby's first-birthday cake, a wedge of Brie, and at least an entire pie. Thanks Rhythmball!

Never thought I'd be talking about my unmentionables in a blog but hey, now that they're smaller, I've got something big to blab about! Whoot!

Oh, and by the way, don't ever type "black panties" into Google Images, unless you want to see a guy with a hairy beer gut sporting pink satin panties, which you probably don't. Trust me on this.

panties, weight loss, laser hair removal

Fundamental Rhythmball available free!

Hey, I published the Rhythmball manual today.

Xiaofei Sui, Germany's resident Rhythmball expert, did the bulk of the work, having already written version 1.0. It was a great project, translating his original work and adding my own spin on some of the topics, with his blessing. If you're already playing Rhythmball, Fundamental Rhythmball will help you fine-tune your grip on the racket. Xiaofei has also included two warm-up and cool-down exercises to underlie your game.

Click here for the download page. You'll need Acrobat, aka Adobe Reader, 'cause it's a .pdf document... And don't forget to set your printer prefs to "landscape" mode.

Rhythmball, Fundamental Rhythmball, Xiaofei Sui

Do you know David Cutler?

David Cutler and I are survivors of the same Intermediate school: I went to his bar mitzvah, and at lunchtime we hung out in the Student Store. David played a LOT of piano back then and accompanied my eighth-grade talent-show act, "A Sucker Born Every Minute" (from Barnum). He even improvised some jazzy chords behind my patter. Good stuff.

Last night he was quick to note the more-than-20 years since last we spoke. He thought my e-mail came from another woman who shares my name, with whom he worked in another state. As such, his surprise upon seeing MY name was total. He was likewise astonished that my son is closer to our age back then than we are now.

My surprise was in his e-mail last night when he asked if I knew of Billy Collins, US Poet Laureate 2001-2003. "Not only am I versed in his poetry," I wrote back, "but I have MET Billy Collins, at a pre-reading party at Alan Soldofsky's house in San Jose, CA. I was wearing my most vivid turquoise cowboy boots that night, about which Mr. Collins complimented, 'Nice kicks.'" Anyway, David just composed music for some of Collins's poetry.

David Cutler is the BIG TIME, and proved it immediately. "A musical. Big project," he said. Smart, that one. It took me a year to see it. He travels all over, plus he's up for tenure at the university where he's taught for six years. Not much time, that one, but a little.

"Frankly," I told him as we spoke an hour ago, "I'd be happy just to hear if you think it's funny." And he seemed pretty open to that. The fact that I've been noodling on this for two years should let him know that this is not necessarily a "fast-track" project. I told him the backing, musically, I'm considering for the piece. He told me the backing, financially, I should secure for this creative stage, thereby lending prestige to the project. Living in Western Mass, in the Five Colleges Area, with the Berkshires and Tanglewood the next county over, I believe that it is possible to go to Broadway with this.

I believe that "Liz" (that's my blog-o-riffic working title, never you mind) will hit Broadway and smash it a new one.

But first I need to get the backing to bring in David Cutler. A big fat grant. And maybe a tip jar. And DEFINITELY a meeting with Ben Zander.

David Cutler, Liz, Billy Collins, Benjamin Zander, me