Saturday, August 05, 2006

New Proposed Rhythmball Slogan

"Like Tai Chi, but Funner."

Whaddaya think? Comments, please.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Just when I start feeling good...

hardy har har

I'm in a drama club of playwrights and actors here in Mytown, and last night we read one of the participant's new plays. She asked me to read the part of the rabbi. "I didn't work too hard to get outside actors to read," she said, "because a lot of the people in the group fit the roles I'm having read." I felt pretty good about being asked to participate until I sat down and read her Dramatis Personae. "Rabbi Adele: hip, slightly frumpy. 40s." And then I wanted to die. Frumpy??? Forty??????!!!!! The only way I got through it was by channeling Jon Lovitz: ACT-ing! I must be a hell of an actress if I can get people to believe I'm frumpy and 40. Yeah, that's it. Uh huh.

Acting, Frumpy, Despair

Monday, July 31, 2006

fAtitude Adjustment

So I bare my soul yesterday -- OK, my pants size, but the same level of importance -- and I've heard not a *word* in response. Are you all stunned into silence that I was such a fatty?

Let me tell you a little story:
When my best friend was pregnant, she ate family-sized trays of Stouffer's mac-and-cheese and gained 60 pounds. Et moi? I ate right, watched my calories, gave up ice cream halfway through my pregnancy (inside joke), and gained 60 pounds. Granted, the kid weighed nearly nine-and-a-half at birth, so plenty of it was baby-related, but even so? What a p*sser. Plus, during labor they stuffed me full of IV fluids so for days afterwards I looked like the first zeppelin ever to calve.

Unavoidable, but regrettable nonetheless.This new-baby weight in addition to my just-married 20 pounds? Ugh. Paging Fatty McFatterton.

At seven months post-partum I got honest and serious. This extra load is unneccessary and even maybe dangerous. If I got pregnant again, what the h*ll would I wear? Time to dump all the junk from the trunk.

(Of course, it's perfectly FINE if you're post-partum and you're not there yet. My baby's been sleeping through the night for more than three months, so I'm almost as caught up on my rest as I'll ever be. That helps, a lot. Plus, I work for a company that imports exercises and exercise equipment, so it behooves me to learn as much as I can about our product, and it's so much more productive to learn by doing.)

In conclusion: my buddy is in the throes of a medically supervised weight-loss program, by the end of which he will have shed a whole... him. His inspiration is that a lot of really overweight people, after dieting, remain fat. Smaller, but fat. If he's gonna do it, he said, he's going to do it all the way. And I'll have what he's having (but without the nasty "milk"-shakes).

Sunday, July 30, 2006

First Month's Progress

I started this blog and my RR (Rhythmball Regimen) exactly one month ago today. What has the time and effort yielded, you ask? How does my cost-benefit analysis stack up? Pull up a chair:

1) Rhythmball 3-4 times a week, 30 minutes/session
led to
2) Drinking two liters of water daily
led to
3) Sucralose and fat-free half-and-half in my coffee every morning, instead of sugar and half-and-half or some sort of cream
led to
4) At least 500 stomach crunches a week
led to
5) Light beer only
led to
6) Watching less TV (at least two fewer hours each day)
led to
7) Completing at least 12 girlie pushups each night

These activities, coupled with carrying my baby more often than "strolling" him, has granted me the following benefits:
1) Down one pant size
2) Definition in my upper arms and, more importantly, the formerly fat-only bulge between my shoulder and boob
3) Speaking of boobs, at the beginning of RR I fastened my bra at the farthest eyes. Now, I'm using the closest eyes, plus have tightened the straps as much as possible
4) MUCH easier to climb stairs while holding the baby
5) Haven't bumped my hips into anything (doorframe, table) in more than a week

How much weight have I lost? Beats me. I don't have a scale, because they make me weird. I prefer to go by clothing size and fitness level.


Pants size June 30, 2006: 22

Pants size July 30, 2006: 20

Bra size June 30, 2006: tight 42G

Bra size July 30, 2006: loose 42G

NEXT MONTH'S GOALS: Down to an 18, master Rhythmball's Set Two, eat more vegetables

OVERARCHING GOAL: Get back into my black leather pants -- preferably by Christmas

Do I work for Rhythmball? Sure. Are the above benefits real or imagined? REAL. And people are beginning to notice, which encourages me to continue.

Rhythmball got me to get up off the couch. What could it do for you???

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