Y'all probably have too much of a life to be TIVO-ing "Catwalk Nightcap" on Style, so I'm doing it for you. This is a show that features the runways of Olympus Fashion Week, currently being held in New York City. Here is my recap after two days' worth of runways:
Best designs: Carolina Herrera. Baby couldn't tear his eyes away, got up into a kneeling position and clapped. I think I agree with him, though Reem Acra's pretty sparkly and shiny.
Most hideous dress: Reem Acra featured some black gray burlap monstrosity with puffed sleeves. Poor girl looked like a cross-dressing linebacker at his mother's funeral.
Most hideous collection: Sass and Bide. Gack! Bonus points for one of the models nearly falling on her skinny ass while making her turn. (If you don't think I rewound that three times, well, you don't know me very well.) To top it all off, the designers themselves look like Edina and Patsy, not exactly the people I'd want to style me.
#1: Belts. Big belts, little belts, all cinched at the waist.
#2: Empire Waistlines. Time to look like the characters in Sense and Sensibility. Babydoll dresses are in, in, in.
#3: Straplessness. Or any other type of neckline that will require a strapless bra, or, in the case of some keyhole and other plunging designs, no bra at all.
#4: Floaty hemlines. Looks like dresses will flow away from the body, in a way that made even the most anemic model look hippy and thick-thighed.
It's certainly strengthened my resolve, I'll tell you. I've ordered a size 18 dress to wear to Sean and Kristen's wedding the second week of October and at this rate, I'm hoping it'll be loose. And it will look BEAUTIFUL with the new gold-leather Enzo pumps I've ordered from Zappos. Woo-freakin'-hoo!